Guest Contributors
Have you ever had someone seemingly take your challenges (problems) with a grain of salt? Maybe they looked at you as if to say, ‘Please! Is that all?’. I have. And it took everything in me not to start crying because I knew that they just ‘didn’t understand’. Or at least I thought they didn’t. I have since learned that everyone has had their problems. Believe it or not.
A while back, I was invited to go to lunch with a young lady that I knew. She and I had known each for several years but at a distance. She was a single parent with two daughters. She appeared to be very hard working with a lot going for her. She began to share some of her issues: challenges with her ex-husband, self-esteem, finances and so forth. I looked at her calmly as she continued on. Then, the mistake I made was saying that I understood where she was coming from. She snipped at me and replied ‘How could you? Your life is perfect’. I was shocked. How could she think that? I asked her why she felt that way. She began to list what she saw in me. I understood. So I shared a few things to give credibility to my claim of understanding her. I was a single parent for six years. I was the sole caregiver for my Mom who had lived with me and my family for many years. And so on… She was amazed. I told her that just because you go through doesn’t mean you have to look like! Then she felt at ease and was open to hear what I had to say. I gave her a few tidbits that helped me along the way.
In my experience, I have the impression that you will learn who your friends are when you succeed, when you fail and when you need money. These are not the only times of course. But for the sake of this discussion, we will leave it at these three. So I have taken on attitudes that have served me in many cases. Never let ‘em see you sweat! There is a ‘line’ that is drawn in the sand of life. And at times when we cross over it, people can smell your trouble and they may shy away. It is unfortunate but it happens. So I have taken the stance to never let my anxieties show on me. It works to my advantage and then to my disadvantage. That to say, I can look like I do not need the help or support of others when in fact I might at a particular time. Overall it has worked in my favor. I have learned to ask for the help I need most of the time.
One should then assess what the challenge really means. Is it something that I can change? We all know this part of the serenity prayer:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.” ~ Reinhold Niebuhr
This is usually easier said than done. If you can change it, seek to make a plan to do so. You may need guidance during this aspect of the process. If you can’t change the ‘whatever’ or ‘whomever’ that’s happening to you, then you have to change how you interact with it or how you see it. This is not easy either. Whichever side of the problem you find yourself on, PATIENCE is the key. That has been of area of challenge for me personally. Patience is a special quality that all of us can exhibit. Usually there are a few areas of our lives where we seem to be more patient than others. I learned that lack of patience is often times fear-based. What am I afraid of? Why can’t I wait? We may think we are going to lose out or that it’ not going to go our way. Whatever it is, we have to practice calming our fears and be confident that if we stay the course, we can reconcile the problem. That does not always mean it’s going to turn out 100% the way we want. But if it could STOP, even if it’s not totally in our favor, wouldn’t that be better than the thing persisting and DRIVING us crazy?
Overcoming adversity is done every day. Remember that everyone has had to do it. With every challenge and obstacle comes a new opportunity for personal growth which may not seem very appealing while you are in it. But if it doesn’t kill you, it can only make you stronger.
About the Author:
Janice Coleman is a motivating communicator specializing in Preparing People to Perform through keynote presentations, customized training programs, and coaching. Janice has the capacity to deliver an action-provoking message to a variety of audiences. She has a vast professional background which affords her powerful in depth understanding of how to help others to become what they have been designed to be. If you are seeking to have a turnaround in your personal or professional world, Janice is the right speaker for you.
Click the following link to learn more about: Janice Coleman
Newsletter
