Ty Howard
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Love is considered to be one of life's abstract concepts, a phenomenon that gives peace and satisfaction when one thinks about it. It has some of the qualities of making you happy while soothing the soul at times of stress and sadness. But, for some, the concept takes another turn, a turn through which they lose their trust in love and the magical bliss of what they feel the concept should be. What brings this mindset shift? Betrayal, abuse, or breaking up in love.
Yes, the feeling of giving your best to a relationship and not getting the same in return can create pain, stress, worry, low self-esteem, hate, and broken feelings. Does love have to hurt? The hurt and pain of love can cause a good person to think and feel, "Maybe it's meant for me to be alone, or I brought this on myself."
Here are four ways a good person in any relationship can keep themselves in high-spirits and on the positive side of life when their repeated attempts to love someone backfires and hurts you in return.
Always believe in yourself.
Often after leaving a bad relationship, the first insecurity that comes to a good person is the loss of trust in themselves or to stop believing in their ability to love again. Because when the one you love cheats on or betrays you, you start thinking that you made a mistake and that you caused it to happen. That is not true. If you know in your heart that you gave your all and you were the good person in the relationship—you should always believe precisely that's who you are. Understand that things did not work out in this relationship and your choice to leave it was most likely the best decision you could have made for yourself and your heart. Let go and move on. Be yourself and never let someone destroy you.
Indulge in different healthy and positive activities.
A free and hurt mind is like Satan's house, which never lets us stay in peace. Whether you're in or just leaving a bad relationship, try to indulge in some positive activities such as cooking, reading, exercise, counseling, meditation, yoga, etc. These activities will help you to get back to a productive and peaceful life and hopefully prevent you from beating yourself up and blaming you for what happened.
Create and give more time to yourself.
When most people find themselves in a hurtful relationship, the feeling of losing self in the process is often a part of the equation. If this is you, I strongly suggest that you create and give more time to yourself. Instead of listening to other people's judgments and opinions, you have to stop overthinking things and start giving more time to yourself, so you can reflect, evaluate perspectives, and find a new direction. Start by creating a positive and healthy support system. Surround yourself with positive people who make you feel empowered to take charge of your life in healthy ways. Focus on spending your time with other good people who can inspire and encourage you to reach your full potential.
Believe in and Trust in God.
Along with believing in you and getting to know your life better — you should also believe and trust in a higher power. Pray often to God and make all actions with the consent of God. Through faith, continuous prayer, and the Glory of God's love and grace, you can and will make it through all forms of hurt and pain.
As human beings, we want someone to love us and stay by our side in times of sadness, stress, uncertainty, happiness, and yes, during the good times, too. We survive and thrive with the people who spread positive vibes and support us in making healthy and happy decisions. So, to answer the question, No! Love does not have to hurt. Does that mean you will never be hurt again in another relationship? No, we will never be immune to future hurt or pain. As a good person, I charge you to spread love and positive support to others rather than changing to become another bitter and hurtful person in the world because some betrayed and hurt you.
It's been said, "Hurt people hurt people." You are better than that, and you deserve and should always expect better in all of your relationships going forward!
Related Article: Untie the Knots® of an Unexciting Relationship
Hello! What is one way you protect yourself from being hurt in a relationship? Please feel free to share your strategy by commenting below. Thank you in advance for sharing.
About the Author: Ty Howard,
Founder, CEO and Editor in Chief of MOTIVATION magazine
Ty Howard is an organizational development consultant and executive and manager development coach. He's an internationally recognized authority on personal, professional, relationships and success habits development. He is the creator and lead facilitator of the trademarked Untie the Knots® Process, and the author of the best-selling book Untie the Knots® That Tie Up Your Life: A Practical Guide to Freeing Yourself from Toxic Habits, Choices, People, and Relationships, as well as dozens of published articles on relationships, healthy habits development, empowerment and peak performance worldwide.
For information on the author click on the following link: Ty Howard.
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