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If you work within an organization, chances are from time to time you may run into situations that have the potential for conflict. How you handle yourself is often the difference between getting what you want out of the situation or suffering the consequences of an interaction gone wrong. It’s fair to say that workplace conflicts can indeed bring the worst out in people.
Empathy is the skill that reigns supreme in helping to minimize conflict. The skill of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes to understand their position. This in turn empowers you to more effectively use this knowledge to avoid unnecessary conflicts that often arise because we fail to understand each other.
Unfortunately, employing empathy does take some work. It takes work to think of how to formulate things so they are received by others the way you intend for them to be received. It takes work to be polite and diplomatic and it takes work to stop your emotional impulses in their track, while you dig and reach for alternatives that create more harmony and less conflict. As much work as it is, it’s still work worth doing. Here are three strategies to help you put this important skill to good use in the midst of conflict:
1) Think clearly about what exactly you want to achieve
When conflicts arise and tensions are high, it’s easy to get caught up in all the negative emotions that could leave you feeling misunderstood, undervalued, disrespected and more. If for instance, you are in conflict with a co-worker who always seems to take credit for your work and yet denies doing so. When your boss calls a meeting to allow you both to air out your grievances, keep your desired outcome clearly at the forefront of your mind. Ultimately, you just want to get credit where credit is due and that focus should drive the things you say, as opposed to getting distracted and pulled into a battle of insults. It’s important not to lose sight of what you want to achieve which at the end of the day is the reason you endure what you endure to get what you want.
2) Make use of empathic language
The truth of the matter is that we have access to all the words in the English vocabulary at our disposal free of charge. But if we don’t use words properly, they can cost us a lot. Oftentimes in the midst of a conflict, choosing the right words to use is the furthest thing from our minds. So much of the tensions we feel while in a conflict situation can be lessened by the other party feeling like they are at least understood. You don’t have to agree with them but if you use language that gives them the impression that you understand where they are coming from, that can go a long way in helping to resolve a tense or challenging encounter. Examples of empathic phrases are: “can you help me understand...”, “let me see if I’ve heard you right...”, “I understand that must make you feel...”
3) Be mindful of your tone of voice
You can say all the right things, but if they’re said with a passive aggressive or sarcastic tone, you probably won’t get close to what you want. Much in the same way we don’t want to hear the wrong tone of voice from our doctor delivering important health news to us or our pilot guiding us through turbulent air, it’s important to remain aware of your tone of voice when trying to get to achieve conflict resolution. Perhaps quietly recite a mantra to yourself like “I won’t let my tone of voice be the star of the show”, to help keep you aware that your tone of voice matters.
The bottom line is that empathy takes work but it’s well worth it. It takes work to think through what you’re about to say. It takes work to see things from someone else’s perspective, especially on something you don’t agree with. Just remember what your end goal or desired outcome is. Understand that employing empathy is an effective way to create deeper understanding and greater collaboration.
Hi! What is your opinion on using empathy to resolve conflict? Kindly share your welcomed opinion by commenting below. Thank you in advance for sharing.
About the Author: Sylvia Baffour
Sylvia Baffour is a sought-after speaker and trainer in the fields of personal empowerment, professional and self-development, leadership and change. She helps organizations to change the way they leap beyond their barriers to achieve peak performance. She is also a thought leader in the field of Emotional Intelligence and the author of the forthcoming book, “The Impact Accelerator”, which shares practical strategies for leveraging emotional wisdom to catapult successfully over obstacles.
Click the following link to learn more about: Sylvia Baffour
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