Sarita Maybin
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Say NO, Nicely
“Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
A large part of intentional living—at work and beyond—is being able to set boundaries. This means knowing when and how to decline opportunities that aren't a priority for you, and doing so WITHOUT destroying the relationship. In other words, how do you say NO nicely?
My favorite ways to say NO nicely fall into the three categories below. Choose the phrases, or a combination of phrases, that work best for you! Above all else, avoid making excuses!
1. Compliment + NO
"I appreciate your thinking of me, however I'm going to opt out."
"Thanks for the opportunity, however I'm not able to pursue it."
"This sounds like a great project, yet I won't be able to participate.
"I'm flattered that you'd ask me out, but I'm going to pass."
"Thank you. My plate is full right now."
2. Empathy + NO
"I know you need help with this, however I'm not available."
"I wish I could assist you, however I'm not able to."
"I'm not able to attend, but would love to help in another way."
"I know you're swamped with work, unfortunately I'm not able to help."
"You've worked hard on this committee; however I won't be able to join."
3. "Choose" to say No
"I've chosen to pass on that offer."
"That's not on my radar right now."
"That doesn't work for me."
"I'm not feelin' it."
"It's not calling me."
By the way, category #3 also works well when someone replies with WHY!??? You say: "That just doesn't work for me." or "I'm just not feelin' it."
Remember…no excuse making!
A Guilt-Free, YES
Drawing boundaries and saying “no” is most challenging when the person making the request is your boss. Or, an equally powerful person: the client. It can be quite intimidating to consider refusing a request from either of these high-ranking people because they seem to hold your fate in the palm of their hands.
However, if you must say YES, do it without guilt. Set conditions and parameters that work for you!
For example:
"Boss, I'd love to get that project done for you. Please let me know its priority in relation to the other assignments I’m working on for you."
“Would you be willing to wait until Monday morning if we hand deliver your order?”
“Could you live with it if we finished it up first thing tomorrow instead of 5pm today?”
"I'd be happy to get that info to you, if it can wait until tomorrow."
“Working on this project today will delay the other projects that we’re already working on for you. Which one is your highest priority?”
Hi! When was the last time you said NO, nicely to someone? What was the outcome? Will this article help you going forward with saying NO, nicely? Feel free to share your experience and input by commenting below. Thank you in advance for sharing.
About the Author: Sarita Maybin
Sarita Maybin is a high energy speaker and communication expert whose audiences have fun learning how to stay positive, constructively confront tough communication challenges and work together better. Her client list includes Hewlett Packard, Kaiser Permanente, WD-40, Los Angeles County, Department of Navy and the Las Vegas Convention Center among others.
Since 1993, Sarita has spoken in 48 states, Puerto Rico, Canada, England, Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia, Mexico and Iceland. She has been interviewed by Fox News, ABC News and numerous radio shows about her book If You Can’t Say Something Nice, What DO You Say?
Click the following link to learn more about: Sarita Maybin
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