Picking Up and Moving Beyond a Toxic Relationship
Guest Contributors

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So you find yourself in a space where your bad relationship is now behind you. What next?

A common temptation that some people face when moving beyond a toxic relationship is the urge to look back or dwell on what could have been. This can be distracting and cause you to second guess your bold decision. In order to resist the temptation, consider walking yourself through these 4 steps which will help you move forward without looking back.

Discard as much ‘memorabilia’ as you can of your past relationship

Keeping items or pictures around of your ex that remind you of them will not help you create the mental and emotional distance you need to move on with clarity and renewed purpose. Either get rid of them altogether or pack them away from your everyday sight. It is important for you to not have constant reminders lurking around everywhere you look as you begin the important work of self-healing.

Commit to being mentally and emotionally available to new possibilities

Now that you’ve figuratively and literally “turned the page” to a new chapter it will be vital for you to keep your mind and heart open and clear as you move on. Remind yourself as often as possible of the thought that in order for someone great to come into your life, someone else must first leave. Be proud of yourself for having created that space and commit to only allowing it to be refilled with bright and positive new possibilities.

Replace any thoughts of regrets with validations of your personal strengths and assets

Freeing yourself from your toxic relationship was in itself a show of strength and you can pat yourself on the back for that. On a small piece of paper, list 5 empowering and positive qualities you believe you possess. Keep that list somewhere that you visit at least once a day e.g. bedside table, fridge, bathroom mirror. Seeing this daily will be a constant reminder to you to continue to look forward as you keep space open for the right person, who will truly value you, to come into your life.

Jot down a short list of the benefits of moving on and keep the list on your fridge

Alongside the list you just created noting your personal strengths and assets, create another short list of the benefits of you having moved on so that reading this daily will empower you to know that you didn’t make a mistake in leaving that relationship behind. An example of one of the benefits you jot down might be “I am no longer attached to someone who constantly puts me down” or “Now that I’m not financially supporting him/her I have more money for myself”. Highlighting these benefits on paper will serve to constantly validate your decision to free yourself.

 

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About the Author: Sylvia Baffour

Sylvia Baffour is one of the most sought-after speakers and trainers in the fields of college planning, professional and self-development and leadership. She is the author of I Dare You to Care a book that provides readers with useful strategies for satisfying and meaningful relationships from an emotional intelligence point of view. She is also the creator of the Leaping Beyond Barriers^TM Training System which focuses on helping people and organizations to move out of their own way and in the direction of improving their outlooks, performance, innovation, and results.

Click the following link to learn more about: Sylvia Baffour

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