From time to time, most of us experience moments of staleness in our relationships. The good news is that you don’t need David Copperfield-like magic to freshen things up. The most important consideration is to consciously practice measures to get you out of those dull relationship moments. Here are five tips to help you rev things up:
1 – Give more considerately
If you feel you are not getting enough attention from your partner, try focusing on giving them more attention. What’s key to keep in mind when doing this is to offer them the kind of attention that they value. You might for instance love receiving hugs and get hyped every time you get one from your partner. On the other hand, maybe they don’t put as much stock in receiving hugs but greatly value sitting down at the dinner table each night to catch up over a home cooked meal. After all, it is usually in giving that we receive and chances are your little sacrifices in giving them more of what they want will pay off!
2 – Create and maintain interest in each others’ goals
Compliment each other on the little things that you don’t think carry much weight because to your partner, it might often make a difference. Doing this makes you appear to be fully present and not to be taking things for granted in your relationship. “You made my tea perfectly this morning”, or “that was a really great parking spot you found” are the kinds of small compliments that can create sparks of happiness and appreciation. If you’re in the habit of finding things to compliment your partner about, chances are that you’re going to be less focused on criticism. When you generously and genuinely share words of praise with each other, it positively affects your mood which benefits you both in countless ways.
3 – Dust off the date-night calendar
Most of us can turn to the excuse of being too busy with work and other obligations to spend more time on the things we say matter most to us. If you want to enhance the happiness quotient in your relationship, it’s advisable to carve out some “couple time” that requires you to spend quality time away from places of familiar distraction to enjoy a night alone together at least once a week. Remember that your relationship ought to be one of your most important obligations.
4 – Create mutual space for growth and learning
We all grow and evolve as we go through the daily motions to life and all its lessons. For this reason, none of us stays exactly the same and it’s healthy to allow each other the space to grow and learn without feeling like you have to remain exactly the same person no matter what. Happiness comes from feeling like you’re growing together and that there is space for each other to learn, change and grow. It is unrealistic to expect you or your partner to stay exactly the same as when you first met. Focus on the happiness and deeper connection you will develop as you experience positive growth and learning together.
5 – Don’t expect your partner to be ALL things to you
Part of intentional living requires that we focus on the here and now. The honest reality is that none of us can be everything to someone else. If you find yourself focusing on the things your partner “is not”, consider surrounding yourself with friends who can provide those things that he/she doesn’t. For example, if your partner doesn’t indulge you in endless conversations about the latest celebrity gossip, or cook you exotic dishes, or enjoy going to the dog park with you, consider getting that fulfillment in the company of a friend. A dear friend who thoroughly enjoys discussing the latest celebrity run-downs, while cooking up the latest Thai delight for you right before they accompany you on your next dog park outing. Appreciate the things your partner brings to your relationship as well as the things you get to enjoy with your friends.
About the Author:
Sylvia Baffour is one of the most sought-after speakers and trainers in the fields of college planning, professional and self-development and leadership. She is co-author of How to Be a Super Achiever a book that provides readers with useful strategies for unleashing their own success. She is also the creator of the Leaping Beyond BarriersTM Training System which focuses on helping people and organizations to move out of their own way and in the direction of improving their outlooks, performance, innovation, and results.
Click the following link to learn more about: Sylvia Baffour